Another day -

It's 9:30ish PM and I'm surprised I haven't been on the computer until now. Jim "the big hero", bought Brian a new movie "Horton Hears a Who" so I'm letting him stay up late to watch that, as I blog. I must say something positive about Jim for a change...he's had his truck on the road for 4 days now, and all but one night he's picked Brian up for a few hours after work...so that's a definite improvement, and I'm sure it'll make Brian feel more secure knowing that he'll be seeing him more. I just hope that the novelty doesn't wear off and after awhile it gets less and less frequent, but right now I'm just staying positive. On a different note and a little disapointment in Jim it doesn't look like the Long Island trip is happening afterall. Brian had gotton soooooooo very excited, in part because I was trying to build it up so much so he wouldn't be nervous about it. Jim said his mom just had some sort of day surgery and she still isn't feeling well, so I guess that's why. I just hope it's not because at the last minute Brian was going to accompany him and that didn't go with the flow of his plans, like going out with his friends, or even possibly bringing someone there with him. I don't know, but hopefully Brian won't continue to be too upset. I'll just keep him real busy tomorrow - which was the day they were supposed to leave, the day he has been counting down too...I'm sure he'll be just fine, I just wish that they were going. I remember as a kid if someone told me we were going to go somewhere or do something and it fell through I was devistated...my parents ended up learning to never tell me anything until the last minute and when it was 100% a sure thing. So I just need to start being more careful about that kind of thing when it comes to Brian, especially with Jim because he changes plans like I change socks.

Enough about that stuff. Mom had an OK day today. The morning was pretty rough and she was in A LOT of pain, but I did what I do and called the doctors office and left a msg for her primary doc, who was working in another office today...so I called that office...finally I spoke to him directly on the phone, and she ended up with a stronger pain medication then she is perscribed on a regular basis...and now she is in much less pain. So good job me. My mom always jokes with me when she's in the hospital and calls me her Bull Dog. She's so soft spoken sometimes, and hates to ask for things, and is all shy and meak to the nurses, and doesn't ever put up a fight if they do something or don't do something she needs. It's become my job to do that kind of work, because as we all know I'm not softspoken, and if I feel like my mom is in a lot of discomfort I will talk to a million doctors until she is comfortable. I'm the same way whenever my dads been in the hospital. Even if I'm not down there I can get a shit ton done from home over the phone, most of them end up knowing my name and my voice, it's funny. But I really don't think that any other them feel annoyed or bothered by my interest and sometimes demanding nature, if they do they sure don't let me see it...instead I have nurses telling me I should be a nurse, and I have doctors asking me if I'm in the medical field, so those are both nice compliments to hear. None the less she's in much less pain now and actually sleeping as I am writing.

I spoke to her GI doctor yesterday as well, who by the way is very cute and has called me on a few occasions to fill me in when I haven't even left a msg for him, he much love me, lol. Anyhow I told him how much fluid was accumulating again in her belly, and he told me to increase her diuretics (pills that make you pee out any extra fluids in your body) so I went through her pills and her pill box and did just that. One of the pills she was on was for 25 mg's, and now she's supposed to take 100mg's - so we went really aggresive with these peeing pills. And in just the one day that it's been we've seen a difference, he stomach has gotton a little squishier, not so rock hard as it was before. So that's great news, that we could possibly control the fluid build up with pills you can take at home instead of constantly having to go have it drained in the hospital...again we'll just have to wait and see.

Mom also had enough strength today to make it to our car and into the health center to get her blood drawn, which was essential to be done before her appointment with the GI guy this Thursday. I helped her out to the car, and helped her inside, but she did very well...which is another small improvement, a few days ago I would have doubted she could have done any of that she was so weak. Oh also another big feat - I got the shower all ready for her, put in the shower chair that we got origionally for Dad, laid out the towels and all that stuff, and she was able to shower by herself....I of course stood right outside the door asking every 3 minutes if she was ok, but it was good and she felt a lot better afterwards.

I made another nice dinner tonight, that mom and dad both really enjoyed. I didn't eat, because for some reason, I'm assuming nerves, nothing ever sounds or tastes good to me lately...so I force myself to eat at least on big meal a day no matter how much I don't want to. I also drink those ensures to make sure that I dont get sick too by not taking care of myself, that's all we would need.

Oh another quick Jim issue. I mentioned in a previous blog that I had repetitioned the court to try and get more custody rights, as of now I only have joint legal and no physical - mainly because when we went to court I was living at the half way house so I couldn't have had physical anyhow...I got a letter today with the date of our court appearance and gave Jim a copy of it when he came to pick Brian up. All hell broke loose because he noticed how I worded one thing...the question was "what are you looking to alter with in this custody agreement?" I wrote "I'm hoping to change the fact that I'm supposed to only be with Brian with other adults around, and mostly I'm hoping to regain joint physical custody, if not primary." That is the part the flipped Jim out, that I mentioned the possibility of me obtaining primary custody. It's not like that means sole custody, it just means that he will be with me more then he'd be with Jim, which I sure will be the case since that's what history has shown. I think he's angry that I might was Primary because then he would have to pay child support, when in his words I'm just sitting on his ass and he doesn't want to work as hard as he works for money to go in my pocket. Oh well, I'm not going to get into all that more then I have, but it was a bullshit argument.

After he and Brian left I ended up having to go to Warrensburg Rite Aid because a script that my dad needed wasn't in stock here at our pharmacy. It sucked, I was hoping to just lay around and relax with Brian out of the house for a few hours, ya know enjoy a little quiet time, but no that wasn't in the cards for me tonight. Anyhow I went there and while I was waiting for it to be filled I was walking around the store - I've always loved drug stores, all the make up, nick nacks, books, toys...I just love them. I had a few extra bucks so I bought Brian a new puzzle: have I mentioned that he is a puzzle genius, and has almost a dozen of them and just loves putting them together...some are 24 piece, some are 40, one is 70 (which is a little too hard for him at this time) and there are two that are HUGE, like massive pieces, and the whole thing when put together is a couple feet big, they are cool. I also picked myself up a crossword book, I used to love doing them...they relax me and occupy me during times of inpatience. I also could use the extra brain excersising, lol.

I'm not sure what is on the agenda for tomorrow. I know I will take Brian out and do something fun for sure, just not sure what. I also am going to start working out with my mom - obviously we will be doing different things. She has zero strength in her arms so she's going to lift these little 3 lb weights we have, and I'll play around with the 10 lb ones...I'll do sit ups and push ups, while she will walk in place or something. I'm at the weight now that I'm happy with, I just need to tone up - because I'm not happy with a flabby belly or being out of shape in general...so now that I'm single I need to get off my ass and look as good as possible, right? Plus it will make me feel better, physically and mentally, and help with my confidence, all good things.
Other then that stuff I'm not sure what else will be done, but I'll keep ya'll informed I'm sure.

I better get going and put the little man to bed, I was selfishly letting him stay up late hoping that it would mean he would sleep in a little tomorrow morning...hopefully it'll work. Take care and to all a good night :O)