Am I really that open and honest????

I won't mention names, but a certain "old acquaintance/boyfriend/friend" of mine just started using facebook and added me as a friend. On facebook I have shit posted all over my page about my blog, from me mentioning it, to my friends commenting on it - it's a pretty noticeable link on my facebook page to say the least. Well this person who will remain name-less, lol, has NO idea of what my life had become, he would have freaked out if he knew I smoked cigarettes, I can't imagine if he knew I was a former junkie with a record...he'd be purely disgusted for sure. I've also tried on and off in these last years to get ahold of him, and possibly hang out....and if he ever had taken me up on the offer in recent months I would have liked the chance to tell him about the last 5 years in my own way, not in such a public way like this blog. See everyone for the most part that reads this at least knew some amount of what had been happening before checking out my "open to everyone blog" so although somethings may be a shock for them, they at least had known the basics before finding out more. It scares me that he will come across my facebook page, click on this link and all of a sudden read all about who I had become since we knew each other all at once...I don't know why it bothers me so much to imagine him reading about things that I've chosen to be open to everyone else about - I guess it's just because when he knew me, I was much more the person I truly am then, then I have been in years, and I guess I just would rather he thought of me (if he ever thinks of me) like that instead of what the reality is. It had made me question whether I really am strong enough to share it all, be 100% honest, and open as I've vowed to be...it's all or nothing here - I either chose to be honest with every and anyone or no-one...that's how I'm looking at it anyhow. I don't know, I guess there are just a few certain people that I would like to keep the imagine of me as it was - innocent, preppy, sweet, honest, etc - instead of picture me in the way that I was less then a year ago. Like I said in my last post, although I was using before Ellis died, I am so grateful that he never knew - it would have killed me to have given him a reason to change how he thought of me...I liked how he thought of me....and I would have hated to disappoint him and give him reasons to doubt everything he ever thought was true about me....if this is making any sense? I guess I just am not ready to give up completely on that image, that idea, that viewpoint, that some people had of me in the past...and it scares me to think of what they would think and feel if they knew - it all.