Update...

I just got home from the hospital, it was a long day. My mom had the fluid drained from her stomach, it was just under 2 liters that was accumulated. She is having more tests tomorrow, but to try and figure out the enimia, not the liver issues. As far as that goes there won't be a straight answer until a little time passes. If she doesn't quit drinking then it's a fatal situation either way...but if she does stop 100% 1 of 2 things will happen...she will either get better and her liver will start functioning on some level again...or it won't. It sucks that we won't know exactly what is happening when she comes home, but that's just the way it is. We all pray that she has this one last chance, and it would just really suck if she came home and got sober and her liver was still failing...but at least there is a chance that that won't be the case and that her liver will begin working again once the alcohol is removed from the equasion.

I hate addiction, I hate alcoholism, I hate this disease. For people who aren't inflicted with this disease it has to seem so impossible to understand how anyone could do this to themselves...it's just not a choice once it gets to a certain point - you become powerless, the drug or drink takes total control...it's not just about will power. It's so hard to explain...but to sum it up I just really hate it.

My mom and I also have such a rocky relationship, that I so desperately want to fix. My brain is programmed to know how to handle my dad's illness, his sickness, my constant concern regarding it. My brain isn't programmed to deal with my mom being physically ill like this. My head and my heart have always been conflicted when it comes to our relationship, it's just so hard. I just so hope that I have another chance to build the relationship I've always wanted with my mom. She's a truly amazing person, so loving and caring, and has done so much for me...she's just been sick my whole life - like my dad - but in a different way that caused different emotions. Again it's impossible to put into words, and I know I'm rambling...so I'm just going to sign off.

I wanted to just update you on the situation, and let you know that we have a shot here and to all hope for the best. Thanks for all your concern and support...much love.