Hi Everyone - I'm failing again with my blog; so here I sit and will try to at least catch everyone up on the recent occurances in my life. There have been some major changes so again I can't believe that I haven't been writing....but here I go.
Dad was admitted into Glens Falls hospital again a few weeks back. The stayed about a week and then went to Sunnyview Rehabilitation Center in Schenectady (go figure, more Schenectady) where he stayed just 7 days. It's a great rehab place for people who have had strokes, accidents, heart attacks, and supposably for people with pulmonary problems as well. We had heard amazing things about the facility as well from friends and family who had personal experiences there - well we were less then thrilled with the outcome of his stay. He came home, seemingly worse then when he left, able to care for himself even less. I'm assuming it's because he got used to the nurses helping him with everything, so he got lazy and when he came home was expecting mom and I to be his new nurses, well not new nurses - but like the ones he had there. Within 48 hours from his homecoming I was calling 911 again and he was on his way back to Glens Falls Hospital. Now he is over at the Tri County Nursing Home doing rehab there. We are not yet sure if he is just doing a 20 day program, or if it will become his new home, but we are just taking it one step at a time for now. I know he wants to come home at the end of this period of time, but again we're just not sure if that is in any of our best interests. He's only been there 3 days, but so far so good. They really treat it like it is home for their clients - nurses knock on the door before entering, visitors are allowed until 9PM, unlimited. We can bring in food, eat meals with him, etc...possibly even take him out of the nursing home for car rides, or things like that....all good stuff. So that's the catch everyone up to speed when it comes to Dad.
Mom is doing really well for the most part. Obviously she misses dad, and is preparing for a huge change in her life, a large chapter that might be coming to an end (just him and her never living together again possibly.) But she is still sober, which is a miracle all on it's own - that she has been able to handle all of this without relapsing. I can't say that I don't think she would have by now if it weren't for all the health repercussions that would occur, but none the less she hasn't and is doing pretty well. Again I'm not going to spill her shit on my blog, but I just want everyone to know that she is OKAY. We still need to get going and heading towards to transplant list evaluations, but that is a little ways away in the future for now and we will take that as it comes as well. Her and I for the most part are also doing really well. The fighting is at a minimum - bickering, arguing- YES...fighting, not so much. We are spending a lot of time together at nights, talking, watching movies, etc...and it's been nice. No one in the world has any idea what we are going through but us, and even our feelings and emotions aren't the same, but as similar as they can get. It's always just been the 3 of us, a little unit, so it's so important that we stick together now and get through all this as that unit.
I am getting ready to FINALLY graduate Conifer Park. I've spoken to my counselor, and it looks like I might go to 1 more group and have 2 more individual sessions with him, and then I will officially be completed. I never complete anything either, so that alone is big for me. I'm so proud that I stuck it out too, because there have been times where I wanted to just say "screw it" and stop going, months and months after I had begun...thinking I had already gotten everything out of it that I could have gotten....but I'm so glad I did this the right way, so I can walk out those doors with my head held high, on good terms, and have that stupid little piece of paper saying that I finished something the right way. It will obviously only help me in Family Court as well. I just have so much respect for their program, the staff there, the clients there, so I'm just glad that I'm leaving under such good terms that I can continue to use the counselors as part of my support network, and stop in from time to time to visit.
Monday I am going to Bolton School and speaking with a fellow addict that I asked to join me. We are splitting it up into two groups, 9th and 10th graders first, for 2 periods...then 11th and 12th for two periods. It's going to be like an assembly, which is a little nerve wracking. When I went to JCS, I walked into my old Health Class and stood in front of a dozen kids and spoke, this is a much different scenario....over a hundred students in each group, microphones, podiums, gymnasiam, etc...it's exciting, but yeah I'm a little nervous. It's good though that I'm bringing someone else along - it's a guy, so hopefully the male students will be able to relate a little bit better to him then they would me - we have different stories, different drugs of choice, a lot of differences...so this way all these kids can hear a lot more information then if I had just gone solo. Plus if I freeze up and end up only speaking for 10 minutes and then not knowing what to do, I'll have him to come in and take over - and I am sure he would do just that. He's a talker just like I am, so between the two of us I'm sure we will do just fine.
Brian is doing amazingly. We just got a new bed for my room, and a new dresser and TV for his. He's been also starting to fall asleep without mommy by his side, 3 nights in a row, which is huge for us! Pretty soon we will be in seperate beds and rooms compeltely, and he will officially be a big boy - part of me is so excited, part os devistated, lol. He and I are going to Kindergarten round up on the 12th, so that will be good - I know he's ready in 99% of the area's he needs to be, but socially he's lacking a little. Plus I am way to easy on him and we need to start really getting some discipline in his life. I'm working on that more and more, and this summer I'll continue too, so he's not just a terror once school starts - and so the kindergarten teacher doesn't go crazy and kill me once she gets tormented by my son :-)
So I'm still seeing that guy I told you about last time I wrote. Things are progressing nicely, and things aren't as casual as I said they were last time I wrote either. I don't think we necessarily have the girlfriend/boyfriend title, but neither of us are seeing other people, and we are making plans for the summer and stuff like that, so this possibly could turn into something more then I had anticipated. None the less I really like him, and am having a great time spending this time with him, so it's all good.
I have court this coming Thursday. I got pulled over last week because my car was uninspected...come to find out it was also unregisterd...and even better, my liscence had been suspended for an unpaid ticket from almost two years ago. The ticket is taken care of, as is all the stuff with the car, so I'm praying that when I go to court and show that I got it all taken care of they will have mercy on me :-) I'm so grateful though because the day I got pulled over could have been so much worse and it wasn't. First off the officer was really nice, although he still wrote me for everything he could have written me for. But I had explained to him why my son in the back seat might have been a little scared of him - the whole story I told this cop - when I told him I was an addict he asked if there was anything in the car he should know about - I help up my 9 month key tag from N/A, and told him I now had 11 months...he smiled, and then was even nicer to me. I couldn't drive of course though so again I am so grateful because I had someone to call who was there for me just as soon as he could have been. Donny, the owner of Brant Lake Taxi (the cab company that takes me to Conifer) got right in his cab and came for me and Brian. Not only did he pick me up, but he brought me to Glens Falls to pick up the guy that I'm seeing, then all the way back to North Creek, never accepting a cent from me. Talk about an amazing man, who did me a huge favor...I owe him. I am just so grateful that today I have people in my life that I haven't screwed over so many times who will come and help me if I call...for years it wasn't like that - they would have thought I was trying to just scam them or pull one by them...but today people are beginning to really trust me again.
I also am meeting with Donny and his partner Kieth next week who just bought another business, a bar and restaurant and hotel. I am sitting down with them and sharing some idea's I have for the place and giving them a resume, to show how much experience I have in that kind of business, and in that field. I'm hoping to help them get things opened, and to end up with a nice little part time job as well - to start - obviously hopeful that it could turn into more later after it gets going...but we'll see about all that too. I'm just excited to propose some idea's I have for their new business and possibly end up with a job as well.
I also found a sponsor, FINALLY! I'm excited to start working with her on the steps and other things....I'm going to try and get into H and I - hospitals and institutions, which is like speaking at rehabs, schools, and last week I shared at a meeting at Glens Falls BHU unit....good stuff.
I'm sure there is more to report on and write about but I have to hop in the shower, and get moving. I'm picking up "my friend" later this afternoon, and I have a million and 1 things to do before then. Jim actually has Brian for the day, which is nice for us all - Brian has been missing him, and I will enjoy a day off. I really will try again to keep writing more regularly, but I said that last time so I won't make any promises.
I'm happy today. I'm grateful today. On this day 11 months ago I was detoxing in SCJ, and to remember that gives me the chills, but it helps me appreciate where I am today and for that I am also grateful. God Bless, keep in touch, much love and have an amazing weekend. And for all your mother's out there - HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
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