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This isn’t going to be a “life is good, I’m growing as a person, and things are hunky-dory” kind of post. It’s all about honesty, right? My Dad weighs 110 lbs and is coming home tomorrow. My mom has gained 15 lbs of fluid in the last 2 weeks and needs to be drained again next week, in the mean time she is in tons of pain, miserable and having a hard time doing much of anything. I had my last group today and broke down reading my “relapse prevention plan.” I have had Conifer Park as my safety net for many months, I’ve grown very attached to all the staff, most of the clients, and will truly miss my time there - Bitter Sweet. The guy that dumped me just last week, uggg never mind totally not worth getting into. My husband (legal) is moving into a nice house for rent with his NEW family…working harder then I’ve ever seen him work, doing things correctly, and trying so damn hard for someone else and someone else’s son - while although I was screwed up too, as was he, we never got even close to that lifestyle.

I think it’s about time for this woman to get the hell into high gear and change my life. It looks like I have a new job, FOR REAL THIS TIME PEOPLE! I am speaking with the new owners of a motel/bar and eventual restaurant - when we speak we will be talking about what I will be doing there, how I can help get them ready to open, and when I will be starting - concrete people, can ya believe it?

Family Court is finally next Monday, after having to reschedule after Jim’s no show last month. Hopefully my hopes will be turned into reality and I will have physical custody of my son once again - which will eventually allow me to move….which is now my main goal. I NEED to be out of North Creek, and I would prefer to end up in Glens Falls. That’s where my support network all lives, and true friends I have made in the last year, and that is where my meetings are. There are more job opportunities down there too, but it all depends on the order of things. If I move before I get a car, I would need a job lined up right from the get-go. If I move after I have a car, I could drive up and continue working in Chestertown, Brian could see my parents super often, and I would be able to relieve some guilt I’d have about leaving and be able to check in on mom and dad all the time. So there are a lot of hurdles, and if’s, BUT that is the plan, and that is my biggest goal right now; other then continue doing what I’m doing, get that year coin in NA and celebrate making it this past year and keep doing it so everything else could then be possible.

So that’s my life today and future plans for tomorrow. I’ll get back into the old blogging habit soon again and start talking about more then just my shit, but hey - it is my blog ;-) Love to you all.