Mike

I can't believe I left out a pretty big thing that happened last week. While Jim was at Brian’s I got a phone call from Jim at 7AM, right away I knew something much be wrong which is exactly what I asked as soon as I answered the phone. Backtrack here - Jim moved to Brant Lake when he was 16, I think. Right away he made friends with a guy named Mike. Their friendship grew and grew, until Mike became like family - even lived with Jim and his dad for a little while. When Jim's Dad passed away, it was Mike and his family who helped figure out arrangements and gave Jim a home if he needed it. Later Mike dated a girl who's best friend was the girl Jim dated in HS. Mike and I met when Jim and I first moved into LG...Mike and I would spend hours on the couch plotting and planning trying to figure out how to get Jim and I officially together,lol. He ended up even living with us for a few months in that house, and was very consistently involved in our lives throughout our time together. I saw Mike the very first day I was back from rehab, he knew what had happened, still he gave me a big hug and told me it was great to see me. Unfortunately that was the last time Mike and I hugged and the last time he was truly happy to see me....when Jim and I split he was a good friend to Jim and cut ties with me for the most part, other then quick hello's in passing. I don't think Mike liked me very much in this last year or so, which I can understand, my best friend isn't Jim's biggest fan that is for sure. Well back to the phone call I was talking about - Jim very calmly told me he had some bad news and that Mike had killed himself. Mike had 5 children - 2 with his high school sweetheart who at a time was 1 of my closest friends - and 3 with his ex wife who he recently divorced. Out of everyone in Jim's life, other then his family and possibly now Becky, this is probably the worst person he could have lost. Jim was very respectful to me and to the fact that Mike and I at one time were close, told me all the details about the wake and funeral, called a few times to check in....I don't think any of it had hit him yet and he was just running on physical motions. I didn't go to the funeral or wake for a few reasons, 1 to give Jim respect and allow him to grieve his brother-like friend without having to deal with his ex who he can't stand, 2 I hadn't always gotten along with Mikes mom and with the hell she was experiencing I didn't want to add any extra anything on her, and 3 I was a little chicken and couldn't force myself to go. I used numbers 1 and 2 and my reasons but it boiled down to the fact that I am sick of funerals and I don't want to have to go to anymore then I already have had to go to. I just feel so awful about what happened, that he felt so hopeless that he ended his own life, which by the way is how he passed away. I feel so sad that his youngest children won't remember him and that his 2 oldest have to go through missing and grieving him and live a life without their dad. I really cared about Mike and it's just a very sad situation. And all the bull shit aside I really feel for Jim - like I said they were like brothers, Jim was family to Mike, his brother, their mother, etc. It was hard knowing that it wasn't my place anymore to be there for him, that he didn't want me by his side...but I left him alone and stayed away which I know is what he wanted. But I was just thinking about Mike after posting my last post and realized I never once mentioned it, not sure why. So I also am enclosing 2 pic's of Jim's best friend, a very good friend of mine, a son, father, brother, friend, a 29 yr old man who ended his life before it had the chance to improve, I PRAY THAT HE IS NOW AT LEAST IN PEACE.

For some reason it won't allow me to add pictures right now, but I will try again later - I wanted to post some other's anyhow.