Random thoughts.

Now that I'm working I do feel so much better about myself ... I'm contributing, I'm not just sitting around with tons of idle time anymore ... I have money ... contributing to society, etc. On the flip side though I'm really missing Brian. He's spending 2 days, 3 nights with his father weekly on top of the time I'm missing with him while I'm at work. I don't know how single mom's do it! Once he starts school, which is only moments away I will see him even less, it's just hard I suppose, and I really took for granted the time I was with him 24/7. Which is easy to do I guess, kids can get frustrating, pulling your hair out frustrating - but now that I'm with him less all I can think of is that I wish I was once again pulling my hair out becuse I was with him too much ; if that makes sense.

On the flip side, I've been thinking about my friend Wanda a lot lately, and her novel. I'd love to be able to control and sort my thoughts enough to write an entire book. I have a hard time being disciplined enough to log into my blog daily, much less write a book. I'm not saying I all of a sudden want to be a proffessional writer, one that makes money doing it - God know's that's as rare as unicorns sometimes, but just to say that I, Krista Foos wrote an entire novel, published it, accomplished it - is something I'd love to be able to say.

Which brings me to my next topic - a bucket list. I feel like I really need to create one. I'm closer to 30 then any other age, and of course that doesn't mean my life is over and I'm knocking on heavens door...but it does mean that I'm getting older and I want to make sure that I have done things, been places, seen things, experienced life - before I do get to the end stages of life. Thank God I have a child and have been able too and will continue to experience the joys of that...if I woke up 60 with no child I really would be heartbroken and feel like I had missed so much...some people don't have the desire to be a parent, but I always had, so I truly am grateful that even if Brian is my only one, that I was able to experience motherhood. So I think I'm going to start thinking about that bucket list, and I'll even post it on here once I get my thoughts together.

I've been single now for 8 months...and guess what - I'M OKAY, SURVIVING IT JUST FINE. Yes, at time I am lonely, and wish that I had an S.O - someone to snuggle with, kill time with, share things with on that level ... but I never thought I'd be able to function as a single mom, and look i'm doing it, and not even hating it as much as I ever would have expected.

I'd love to keep writing on the single topic, but my son - whom I was just complaining about not seeing - is demanding, yes demanding - goldfish ... I gotta work on this attitude of his, it is totally under control at Dad's, but here with me is another story. So I gotta run. Check in soon!