First mom went, which I had told you about...stayed two days, came home.
Then Dad was having chest pains and had been really confused for a week or so, so I called 911 yet again. Right before I called although I asked my mom to take Brian and Rex up to the school so Bri didn't have to sit around and watch my Dad get loaded into the ambulance yet again. While they were up there at the playground, mom fell - it took her a long time to just get herself up, Brian was a tough dude and acted like it didn't bother him at all - I'm sure it scared him though. The next two days Dad was in the hospital, Mom was here in agony - could barely get up off the couch, fell off at one point, she was a MESS - Brian was kept out of the house as much as possible and then it was Dad's days anyhow.
Dad came home. Mom saw her primary over here at the health center and he told her to go to the ER the next morning, he'd be on rounds and would admit her and figure out what was going on with the shoulder - which is what she landed on.
Dad was home - I gave Dad his night time meds, and suggested he tried doing something a little differently because he was in a lot of pain and was having a bad day - his pain was stemming from just being in bed for 4 days so his back, which is broken, was killing him. About an hour later her asked me to go to the store for him and get pepsi. I came home - mom was on her couch sleeping, dad was on his bed sleeping - or so I thought. I told him I was back, no answer...I was louder, no answer. He was 100% unresponsive and barely breathing. THANK GOD BRIAN WAS AT JIM'S. So 911 I call again, this time much more scared then I've ever been in the past, saying unresponsive has never been something I've had to say. The EMTS got there a hell of a lot quicker then normal also hearing that word. His Pulse was ok, his oxygen level was 70% - at his worst I've never seen it below 85%, and he was breathing probably 5 times per minute. They got him on the ambulance and gave him a shot, antidote actually because at that point we were guessing at what could be wrong - but since he's on so many different meds they thought an accidental overdose could have been it, and the antidote wouldn't have hurt him if they had been wrong. As soon as it was pushed into his veins his eyes opened, he gasped and was compeltely alert.
So I almost killed my father. For years I've been in charge of reminding them both about meds, putting their pills in little pill boxes, talking to Dr.s, taking care of oxygen stuff, whatever - pretending I was a little nurse...doing the best I could.
Well this time the 1 little thing I suggested he do differently, mixed with his other meds caused him to go into Respitory Failure. If I had taken 5 more minutes at the store, he probably would have died....talk about guilt. But he was well enough that a few hours later they sent him home from the hospital.
The next morning mom went to the hospital as was planned. An X-Ray showed that her shoulder was fractured in 4 places, and she will be having surgery either today or tomorrow. Plus she's had to have 4 bags of blood in the 2 days she's been there because her blood levels once again keep going down.
Dad's doing well - no long term affect from what happened - just a huge scare for us both - mom wasn't lucid enough to really have been scared or at least really realized how close we were to really loosing him after so many years of him fighting to live, my mistake almost was what took him out.
On a different note, Brian has started school and he likes it a lot so far, his teacher wrote me a glowing e-mail saying that he's doing so very well, in the top of his class already :-) So I'm very proud, and think school will be just what he needs to keep things on a schedule, keep him occupied, give him as much normalcy as possible. Jim's been really good about keeping him the same nights every week so that's good too and Brian is getting really comfortable with that situation. Jim's out of town for the next two weeks though, training for a new posistion at Gore, so the schedule will be switched up a little, but for the most part things have been consistant as far as that stuff is concerned...and luckily for 90% of the scary stuff that has happened these last few weeks he's been at Dad's for, so that's great.
We don't know if mom will even come home after all is said and done - she needs more care right now then Dad - and I proved very well that I am no nurse, and that I'm just incapable of taking care of too terminally ill parents anymore....plus Brian can't be around it - so things will be changing 1 way or another, just not sure how yet. We're trying to get the trailor paid off, we already own the land, so when both of them finally do end up in the Nursing home I'll have a place to live with Brian, a nice place, that will be in my name and all paid off - so all I'd have to worry about would be utilities and taxes...so at least that's an option down the road. But for now i'm gonna go - i just felt like I had a lot to fill everyone in on. So no this wasn't at all an eloquent post - just very matter of fact, which is exactly what I wanted - just the facts to be known.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
A Higher Power, God, Ellis, a Guardian Angel or my Grandfather were looking out for me today....
For anyone who's really read through my blog you have seen me write time and time again about my doubts concerning God or a Higher Power. I've mentioned also time and time again that I should not be nearly as skeptical as I am considering how many times I feel I have been looked down on from someone or something. Today I again I have more reason to believe that there is something looking out for me.
I've never been in a car accident...I mean I've had little fender benders, backed into a mail box when I first got my license, stuff like that - but never anything scary. I've never been in a car that was in an accident either, whether I was driving or not. Well not until today. I had just gone up to Nice N Easy's to get gas and was headed back down into town. Apparently within the last day or two there was some road work done near the Summit on 28 and the road was covered in gravel. I didn't know until I was driving on the gravel that it was even there (and I was only going about 50 miles per hour when I realized that I should slow down.) For anyone who doesn't know where I'm talking about there is a decent size hill right there as well. I knew enough to not slam on the breaks because that would have caused me to spin out instantly...but I did slightly put my foot on the break to try and slow down just a little. As soon as I hit that break I lost complete control of my car and for about 1/4 mile was back and fourth between the left lane, right lane, even did a 360 in the middle of the road. I somehow held it together enough to know not to slam on the breaks because then any control I still had would have been out the window and I ended up pulling up the E break when I knew if I didn't do something I was headed straight into a ditch or into a tree, or pole. I ended up stopping sideways on the left side of the road with my two right tires in the ditch...yes I was stuck, but other then that there was zero damage. Thankfully there was no one else on the road during those few seconds either, because without a doubt I would have hit them and things would have gotten a lot scarier and a lot worse real quickly.
By the time I stepped out of the car 3 people had already stopped to make sure I was ok, 2 of which I knew and 1 whom I had never met before...shows the goodness of people.
Thankfully Brian was with his father, because if he had been in the car not only would he have been scared to death - I wouldn't have been able to compose myself nearly as well as I did after the fact. I ended up getting a ride to a phone where I called the first person that came to mind (well not the first person, Jim was actually the first person I wanted to call, again whenever I'm scared or something is wrong I still just want him) but I called my boss Bill, who has a truck...and he was at my car with his truck and a chain within 10 minutes and pulled me right out.
I just have so much to be grateful for. So many different factors could have made things turn out so much worse, 1 little thing could have happened differently that could have ended up with me either dead or seriously hurt, another car could have been involved and they could have been seriously injured or worse, so many things....reminds me of the butterfly effect theory.
So I'm not sure if it was God, a general Higher Power, My Papa or Ellis who was looking down on me at that given moment and kept me safe - but I'm not chopping this up to luck, luck didn't have anything to do with the events of today.
Other then being completely shaken up and terrified I walked away without a scratch on me - a real miracle.
After all the things that have happened in my life I don't understand why I am so thick headed and can't accept the fact that there really is someone out there watching over me. I guess I just focus on the bad stuff more then the good - like the fact my parents are sick, or all the other problems I've had in my life - then I blame God at times (so I must believe if I can blame him, right?) But from now on I really want to pay more attention to the things that happen that keep me safe, keep the ones I love safe, the good things that occur in my life.
So this has been yet another blog about 'to believe or not to believe' I'm constantly going back and fourth. But today, for right now, whether I'm sure or not of the big picture, I am sure that someone kept me safe today...and even if a lot of it was because I might just be a better driver then I had thought of myself as being in the past - but my driving skills didn't keep another car from coming down that road at that moment...so there is just a lot that I'm thinking about right now.
I'm pretty tired, it's been a pretty emotional day - not only because of the accident, some other things happened that got me all weepy and upset as well - so I'm just going to sign off and try to get some sleep. My boy will be home early in the morning also so I'm excited about that.
By the way - I'm not sure if I've blogged since last week, and I'm not going to go and look through it to see if I have or not so real quick I'm going to tell you a story....last Saturday Jim's girlfriend Becky was here to drop Brian off - she was about to take her son and his other friend on a tour at Bartons Mines...she invited Brian AND I to come along with them. I was shocked, but very impressed with the fact that she was so open and invited me, and I of course took it as an opportunity to get to know her a little, meet Brian's best friend and allow both Brian and her son to see that we can get along (that the adults can act like adults.) We ended up having a nice time, Becky and I got along very well and it was all and all a nice afternoon trip. I hadn't been up to the mines since I was a kid either so it was pretty cool to go up and check it out again after so many years. Brian was thrilled that I got to meet James and I could tell the whole time that he was just happy that we were doing something together ... which is all that's important, so I'm so happy that we did it!
Ok now I'm off to bed, just wanted to fill ya in on that just incase I hadn't already, because I know the whole situation shocked me so I'm sure not many people would have expected my husbands girlfriend, our kids and I to hang out - so it's taken some time but I think we're all coming around and starting to act a lot less selfish and a lot more focused on the kids.
School starts WEDNESDAY, CAN"T BELIEVE IT!!!! I have Bri that morning, so I get to bring him his first day, and he comes home here until Jim get out of work around 4 - so that's great too that it happens to fall on my day so I don't have to miss out on such a huge event. Jim's going to be gone for 2 weeks in September also for school/training for a new position up at Gore, so I'm excited that I'll get two whole weeks with Brian soon after school starts also - so that'll be really nice. Ok I'm really going now. Lots of love.
I've never been in a car accident...I mean I've had little fender benders, backed into a mail box when I first got my license, stuff like that - but never anything scary. I've never been in a car that was in an accident either, whether I was driving or not. Well not until today. I had just gone up to Nice N Easy's to get gas and was headed back down into town. Apparently within the last day or two there was some road work done near the Summit on 28 and the road was covered in gravel. I didn't know until I was driving on the gravel that it was even there (and I was only going about 50 miles per hour when I realized that I should slow down.) For anyone who doesn't know where I'm talking about there is a decent size hill right there as well. I knew enough to not slam on the breaks because that would have caused me to spin out instantly...but I did slightly put my foot on the break to try and slow down just a little. As soon as I hit that break I lost complete control of my car and for about 1/4 mile was back and fourth between the left lane, right lane, even did a 360 in the middle of the road. I somehow held it together enough to know not to slam on the breaks because then any control I still had would have been out the window and I ended up pulling up the E break when I knew if I didn't do something I was headed straight into a ditch or into a tree, or pole. I ended up stopping sideways on the left side of the road with my two right tires in the ditch...yes I was stuck, but other then that there was zero damage. Thankfully there was no one else on the road during those few seconds either, because without a doubt I would have hit them and things would have gotten a lot scarier and a lot worse real quickly.
By the time I stepped out of the car 3 people had already stopped to make sure I was ok, 2 of which I knew and 1 whom I had never met before...shows the goodness of people.
Thankfully Brian was with his father, because if he had been in the car not only would he have been scared to death - I wouldn't have been able to compose myself nearly as well as I did after the fact. I ended up getting a ride to a phone where I called the first person that came to mind (well not the first person, Jim was actually the first person I wanted to call, again whenever I'm scared or something is wrong I still just want him) but I called my boss Bill, who has a truck...and he was at my car with his truck and a chain within 10 minutes and pulled me right out.
I just have so much to be grateful for. So many different factors could have made things turn out so much worse, 1 little thing could have happened differently that could have ended up with me either dead or seriously hurt, another car could have been involved and they could have been seriously injured or worse, so many things....reminds me of the butterfly effect theory.
So I'm not sure if it was God, a general Higher Power, My Papa or Ellis who was looking down on me at that given moment and kept me safe - but I'm not chopping this up to luck, luck didn't have anything to do with the events of today.
Other then being completely shaken up and terrified I walked away without a scratch on me - a real miracle.
After all the things that have happened in my life I don't understand why I am so thick headed and can't accept the fact that there really is someone out there watching over me. I guess I just focus on the bad stuff more then the good - like the fact my parents are sick, or all the other problems I've had in my life - then I blame God at times (so I must believe if I can blame him, right?) But from now on I really want to pay more attention to the things that happen that keep me safe, keep the ones I love safe, the good things that occur in my life.
So this has been yet another blog about 'to believe or not to believe' I'm constantly going back and fourth. But today, for right now, whether I'm sure or not of the big picture, I am sure that someone kept me safe today...and even if a lot of it was because I might just be a better driver then I had thought of myself as being in the past - but my driving skills didn't keep another car from coming down that road at that moment...so there is just a lot that I'm thinking about right now.
I'm pretty tired, it's been a pretty emotional day - not only because of the accident, some other things happened that got me all weepy and upset as well - so I'm just going to sign off and try to get some sleep. My boy will be home early in the morning also so I'm excited about that.
By the way - I'm not sure if I've blogged since last week, and I'm not going to go and look through it to see if I have or not so real quick I'm going to tell you a story....last Saturday Jim's girlfriend Becky was here to drop Brian off - she was about to take her son and his other friend on a tour at Bartons Mines...she invited Brian AND I to come along with them. I was shocked, but very impressed with the fact that she was so open and invited me, and I of course took it as an opportunity to get to know her a little, meet Brian's best friend and allow both Brian and her son to see that we can get along (that the adults can act like adults.) We ended up having a nice time, Becky and I got along very well and it was all and all a nice afternoon trip. I hadn't been up to the mines since I was a kid either so it was pretty cool to go up and check it out again after so many years. Brian was thrilled that I got to meet James and I could tell the whole time that he was just happy that we were doing something together ... which is all that's important, so I'm so happy that we did it!
Ok now I'm off to bed, just wanted to fill ya in on that just incase I hadn't already, because I know the whole situation shocked me so I'm sure not many people would have expected my husbands girlfriend, our kids and I to hang out - so it's taken some time but I think we're all coming around and starting to act a lot less selfish and a lot more focused on the kids.
School starts WEDNESDAY, CAN"T BELIEVE IT!!!! I have Bri that morning, so I get to bring him his first day, and he comes home here until Jim get out of work around 4 - so that's great too that it happens to fall on my day so I don't have to miss out on such a huge event. Jim's going to be gone for 2 weeks in September also for school/training for a new position up at Gore, so I'm excited that I'll get two whole weeks with Brian soon after school starts also - so that'll be really nice. Ok I'm really going now. Lots of love.
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