Random thoughts.

Now that I'm working I do feel so much better about myself ... I'm contributing, I'm not just sitting around with tons of idle time anymore ... I have money ... contributing to society, etc. On the flip side though I'm really missing Brian. He's spending 2 days, 3 nights with his father weekly on top of the time I'm missing with him while I'm at work. I don't know how single mom's do it! Once he starts school, which is only moments away I will see him even less, it's just hard I suppose, and I really took for granted the time I was with him 24/7. Which is easy to do I guess, kids can get frustrating, pulling your hair out frustrating - but now that I'm with him less all I can think of is that I wish I was once again pulling my hair out becuse I was with him too much ; if that makes sense.

On the flip side, I've been thinking about my friend Wanda a lot lately, and her novel. I'd love to be able to control and sort my thoughts enough to write an entire book. I have a hard time being disciplined enough to log into my blog daily, much less write a book. I'm not saying I all of a sudden want to be a proffessional writer, one that makes money doing it - God know's that's as rare as unicorns sometimes, but just to say that I, Krista Foos wrote an entire novel, published it, accomplished it - is something I'd love to be able to say.

Which brings me to my next topic - a bucket list. I feel like I really need to create one. I'm closer to 30 then any other age, and of course that doesn't mean my life is over and I'm knocking on heavens door...but it does mean that I'm getting older and I want to make sure that I have done things, been places, seen things, experienced life - before I do get to the end stages of life. Thank God I have a child and have been able too and will continue to experience the joys of that...if I woke up 60 with no child I really would be heartbroken and feel like I had missed so much...some people don't have the desire to be a parent, but I always had, so I truly am grateful that even if Brian is my only one, that I was able to experience motherhood. So I think I'm going to start thinking about that bucket list, and I'll even post it on here once I get my thoughts together.

I've been single now for 8 months...and guess what - I'M OKAY, SURVIVING IT JUST FINE. Yes, at time I am lonely, and wish that I had an S.O - someone to snuggle with, kill time with, share things with on that level ... but I never thought I'd be able to function as a single mom, and look i'm doing it, and not even hating it as much as I ever would have expected.

I'd love to keep writing on the single topic, but my son - whom I was just complaining about not seeing - is demanding, yes demanding - goldfish ... I gotta work on this attitude of his, it is totally under control at Dad's, but here with me is another story. So I gotta run. Check in soon!

PS

Quick update ... I noticed 2 posts ago I mentioned my friend, whom I had dated, who I had broken up with, then who had ran and was out with a warrant. 3 days ago he was indeed picked up on that warrant and I don't really know any other information then that. Part of me is relieved though because I truly believe he is safer there then out running around scared. So try to send some prayers and good thoughts out for him - I know from first hand experience how scary it is to be in a position like that and I really hope that this time for him something sticks and this is the last time he has to feel that kind of fear and shame.

Very Long Time - No Blog

Hi everyone, man it's been awhile since I've logged on to my blog.

First things first, I finally started working!! Andie's, which is the former Smith's, restaurant right in town. I'm waitressing about 4 or 5 shifts a week, which is great...it's with in walking distance, great people to work for, and perfect hours so I can't complain about any aspect of the new job. I'm just so grateful to be working period I don't think anything could make me complain, ok ok it's me I'm sure I could find something to bitch about :-)

Brian's been going to Jim's consistently for 3 nights a week, it's so hard. I feel like I'm always saying goodbye to him. I still have him more then Jim does but it just sucks having to share a child like that...I don't know if I'll ever get used to it. Don't get me wrong there are perks - It's nice usually the first night he's gone to be child-less and be able to just go and do whatever I want; but by nights 2 and 3 I get pretty homesick for him. Jim and I have been steadily improving, for the time being at least, as far as our relationship goes. It is what it is, and acceptance is definently the key term here.

We have a new member of our family. His name is REX (100% chosen by Brian.) I picked Rex up at the Adirondack Save A Stray in Corinth last week...he is a 9 week old mutt, cute as can be, but of course a pain in the ass ;-) He's a Feist/Lab mix. I surprised Brian last week when Becky dropped him off after being gone for two nights...the look on his face was priceless and worth every pile of crap I've had to pick up since. He'll end up a medium sized dog, nothing too big...and it's nice to have a pet in the house again. I just think every little kid should have a dog - especially at Brian's age, so it'll be nice for him. What's crazy to think is that this dog could still be around when Brian is learning how to drive!

I met up for lunch with Wanda Shapiro last week. Wanda is my friend Steve's sister (I've mentioned Steve, he was killed in a car accident back in 2002.) She was home promoting her newly published novel "Sometimes That Happens With Chicken." It's not like millions of people read this blog, so it's not great advertisement ... but I've started the novel and it's beautifully written and I'm blown away by it thus far so I highly reccommend going to Amazon and purchasing a copy...She's a Indie Author and published this all herself, so anyone who likes to read good works of literature go ahead and help support this friend of mine!! I'm not the only one raving about this book...she's even been compared to Hemmingway - yeah pretty impressive! The reviews that are coming in are all wonderful as well and she's done book signing's and reading's in NYC, North Creek this week, the Woodstock next week - she's in the early stages of trying to promote but I have high hopes for this novel really catching on worldwide and Wanda becoming a very successful writer. So much love to you Wanda! Thank you so much for my signed copy, and I'll let you know when I finish it - but so far I love it!!!

I better get going for now. I know considering it's been so long since I've written this is a pretty lame excuse for a post, but I have to take Rex out and I hate tying up the damn phone line - I hate dial up!! There's a lot more to write about though so I'll try to check in again very soon. Live, Love, have faith and hope - then it'll work!